Which Planet Would It Be?

If you could visit any planet, which would it be?

I wouldn’t go to Mercury because it’s too quick to catch.

I wouldn’t go to Venus because horrible mutant space monsters live beneath the sulphuric clouds.

I wouldn’t go to Earth because a species of sentient but violent hominids is systematically destroying it.

I wouldn’t go to Mars because I don’t like being thirsty, the colour red, or the Roman God of War.

I wouldn’t go to Jupiter because I would feel several dozen times heavier than I do now.

I wouldn’t go to Saturn because there are no bars there, just icy rings.

I wouldn’t go to Neptune because swirling clouds of ammonia make me cough.

I wouldn’t go to Pluto because it’s not really a planet, just some unfortunate moon that our greedy sun captured.

I guess that leaves Uranus.




Title
Which Planet Would It Be?

Length
150

Written
Unknown

Dedication
To all long weekends, this one’s for you

Editorial Notes
I guess there had to be one Uranus joke somewhere

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