My favourite thing in the world is my football. His name is Old Red.
I can kick him 35 metres (with the wind).
Sometimes when my classroom teacher is giving me a hard time, I talk to Old Red and he convinces me not to kill her.
Old Red and Andy, my rifle, hate each other. Old Red has to talk me out of using Andy every day.
But one day Old Red will burst. He will be no good anymore, and there will be no one to stop me from using Andy. One day I’ll take Andy to school with a thousand bullets and wipe the place clean.
Then I’ll turn Andy around and have a little chat to him.
Andy always has to have the last word.