Once there was a snail. It only had one antenna, and so was a narcissist.
A lot of people don’t know what narcissist means in snail terms. In snail terms it means “a trail leaver of magnificent proportion”.
It has connotations of dehydration and a lack of self worth, along with the worst habit among snails, that of excessive speed.
The Narcissistic Snail’s name was Greg. He loved to poke his one antenna into other snails, since his antenna was stiff and strong due to it compensating for his lack of a second antenna.
One day after poking three other snails in succession and then running a few laps around them, laying a particularly thick snail trail, a hungry bird swooped on Greg and picked him up.
Being a masochist as well as a narcissist, Greg enjoyed his pain. When the bird realised that Greg not only enjoyed being pecked to death, but also that he was dehydrated and so not worth eating, the bird dropped him onto the freeway.
Greg became aroused at the thought of being run over. Then a truck ran him down, and the Narcissistic Snail became a Mashed Up Snail on the Freeway, a much more powerful and worthy symbol of narcissism. In snail terms.