The autumn grass was shooting all over the place.
Gardner always found himself busy this time of year, when no matter how hard he worked, the lady of the house would find something to complain about, some garden that had not yet been weeded, or some lawn that had not been mown.
“I mowed it but two days ago, Lady,” Gardner might have once tried as an explanation.
“Two days? Two months more like it you lay about. Now get to it,” was the mildest of comebacks he could expect.
So now he merely nodded his head, said nothing and went about his work.
It was no surprise when one day the Lady accosted him on his noon break and had him trailing behind her with rebukes of a field that had yet to be sown.
In the summer straw of the blessfully vacant stable, the Lady showed Gardner that field. He guessed that it had lain fallow for many seasons, given her enthusiasm.
It was unfortunate that the man whose regular charge it was to till that field, Lord Arsetenburg, should return from his trip to the city at that very time and surprise the Lady and Gardner in the climactic moment of their ploughing.
“I say, what for?” Arsetenburg said upon surprising the spring planting being undertaken in the stable.
Gardner looked sheepish, but the appearance of the Lord didn’t stop him from attending his duties.
“Really, Henry. It’s not like you’ve paid any attention to me recently,” the lady said between biguous thrusts.
“I say, but it’s still unwifely of you.”
“Oh Henry, put a sock in it. Gardner here is only providing a service.”
“Gardner hey? Well sir, you’ve just done yourself out of a job. Off my wife and off my land now, or I’ll have the constable on you quick smart.”
“Begging your pardon sir.” Gardner scattered his seed with barely a grunt. “Begging your pardon, but I think that would be unfair dismissal due to sexual harassment.”
Arsetenburg of course consulted his lawyer, the constable, the local judge and the member for parliament, but given that his wife had engaged the employee in the act of popping the cherry on top of the caramel nut sundae, there was nothing he could do.
So Gardner cut the lawns, tilled the fields, and occasionally sowed his seed with the lady, and sometimes with both the lady and kitchen maid at the same time, and he knew contentment.