When you don’t have anything to write about, here are some ideas:
- Is a cult following worth more than two loaves of stale, mouldy, rat dropping-infested bread?
- Can the sun burn up its nuclear fuel fast enough to achieve its long-held goal of destroying the Earth?
- What is to stop a cat that learns to drink from a straw from taking over the world?
- A bucket full of sand is only worth its weight in buckets.
- Ribbed condoms are not for anyone’s pleasure; they use up a bit more plastic from the factory and let the user’s imagination run wild, but that’s all.
- Trapezoids are the most sinister of all shapes.
- Forms that say “you must use a black pen” don’t really have to be filled in with a black pen. It’s only a test to see if you’re more than 1% awake.
- Would rabbits breed like rabbits if they didn’t have any vaginas?
- Writing an essay on how poor you are proves you have no initiative. Writing an essay on how poor someone else is proves you do (have initiative, not have poorness).
- Wading through water is difficult, even though we’re made up on 90% water. What a paradox.
- Fish only grow bones to get revenge on us for eating them. There is no other reason for a skeleton when you float around in water all day.
- Never urinate while doing a handstand.